Best Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself By Nedra Glover Tawwab
Best Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself By Nedra Glover Tawwab
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Ebook About THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLEREnd the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do "healthy boundaries" really mean - and how can we successfully express our needs, say "no," and be assertive without offending others?Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology - and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.Book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Review :
I REALLY wanted to like this book because I follow the author on Instagram but it has a lot of problems and as a psychologist I just can’t add it to my list of recommendations. I don’t take issue with her general premise or the idea that boundaries are important; the big issue is that the author is a clinician at heart and not a researcher/writer and it shows.The book is organized as if all the social media posts the author ever made were put together into an organized chapter with little to no elaboration on the etiology of the dynamics. If you want an in-depth exploration of why these dynamics are happening you’ll need to find a different book (I would suggest Dr Susan Forward’s Emotional Blackmail). There are many bullet point lists and simplified sayings that might be helpful for some but I found it lacking (I would suggest Dr Sue Johnson’s Love Sense). Additionally, all the “research” comes from surveys on the author’s Instagram stories which would definitely not pass peer review. It’s incredibly disappointing and if you follow this author on social media there is no need to buy this book. Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own.I wish I had the words to adequately express how much this book has helped me in my journey towards finding true peace and empowerment within myself.I grew up in a very enmeshed family where boundaries were completely non-existent. My impulse to do whatever I could to please everyone, and to try to be everything to everyone, was ingrained in me since birth. I gave pieces of myself away every day, and as I got older, I realized that I was empty. I had nothing left to give; but somehow, I just kept on giving.Around eighteen years old, I had an epiphany when I learned what 'codependency' and 'boundaries' were. It hit me like a ton of bricks: I needed boundaries in my life. This was terrifying to me, because even just the thought of saying 'no' to people would leave me with feelings of excruciating guilt and anxiety. I imagined it would be unbearable.I started to collect every book I could find on the subject of codependency and boundaries; and although I learned many new and enlightening things about these subjects, I still kept reverting back to old patterns. I had an understanding of codependency, and I knew I needed to start setting boundaries, but I still couldn't figure out how to do it.Last year, I discovered Nedra on Instagram. Every one of her posts were so on point. It was like, all this time, the lightbulb was dangling over my head, but her words finally switched it ON. I was ecstatic when I learned she was writing a book. I thought, "Well, if her book is anything like these posts, that is what I need!". I signed up to be a part of the book's launch team, and that was one of the best decisions I've made for myself in a very long time.The reason 'Set Boundaries, Find Peace' has been so much more helpful to me than all the other books I've read on boundaries, is that it is so clear and direct - which is exactly what Nedra explains you have to be when setting boundaries. The way the chapters are organized is very clean and simple, and the exercises really challenge you to connect with yourself, and get to the heart of the matter you're trying to work through. She emphasizes pushing through the feelings of guilt, and explains so concisely how guilt can trick us into believing we're doing something wrong simply by saying 'no', or asking for help.On page 252, she says, "Remember: there is no such thing as guilt-free boundary setting. If you want to minimize (not eliminate) guilt, change the way you think about the process. Stop thinking about boundaries as mean or wrong; start to believe they're a nonnegotiable part of healthy relationships, as well as a self-care and wellness practice."She also gives you the exact words to use when setting a certain boundary, and she doesn't leave anything to ambiguity. Not only does she include examples of real life scenarios where certain boundaries are necessary, she tells you precisely how to go about setting these boundaries in your own life. This is what every other book I'd read before was lacking. This is where the other books fell short. Nedra doesn't just give you the tools; she tells you, clearly and directly, how to use them.I am so grateful that I got to be a part of this book's launch team, and even though I wish this book existed years ago, I am so grateful that it exists in the world now.Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you ever could, and read this book. While I was reading it, there were times I had to put it down for a couple of days and really face some hard truths, but this is how we grow; this is how we ultimately find peace. We push through the tough stuff, and come out on the other side feeling more empowered than we ever thought possible; and this book will guide you through it, every step of the way. 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